Computing

As much as my family, friends, and several recruiters from the United States Navy want me to major in computer science, I still can't bring myself to do it. Computers isn't something I'd like to be my career; the best jobs I'll get are as a sysadmin for Macrohard Winblow$, or maybe a programmer at a shitty start-up social media service if I'm lucky.

With that out of the way, here's all my crap.

Programs & code

My primary, go-to language is ANSI C. Ones I know decently otherwise are the Bourne shell, Java, COBOL and FORTRAN. I dislike assembler language but understand it well. As for anything else: I can generally pick up on the basics of a given language in a short amount of time, though not exactly proficiently; I'm a jack of all trades and master of maybe like one or two.

If you want to see some other programming contributions, check me out on GitLab.

mla.cls

class for composing essays in proper MLA format. Supports images, tables, automatic citations, running headers and most anything else you'd want.

varlpenis

My magnum opus: a program which prints out an ASCII penis (8===D) of arbitrary length, even in colour.

BukkitGreentext

Adds >greentext to a Bukkit/Spigot Minecraft server. Supports permissions, custom exceptions and global and local enable/disable.

Seth's Server-Side Preprocessor

I hand-write the HTML and CSS for this website completely by hand. The headers, OpenGraph info, metadata and so-on are all generated by a custom CGI script for this website called “Seth's Server-Side Preprocessor”, or “S3P” for short. The body HTML (as well as some basic metadata) is stored in a .s3p file, and upon being requested is run through the script before being piped back to the client. It's about four times faster than PHP, at least in my usage case.

I won't divulge too much as I'm not particularly confident in my ability to program web applications securely, so I think keeping the S3P stuff closed-source will help me to some extent.

Other miscellany

Links to other pages here: